Altruistic Reason for Giving Query Critiques: I have received substantial advice and help with mine, and the right thing to do is return the favor by helping other writers with theirs. We’re all in the same boat.
Selfish Reason for Giving Query Critiques: Okay, believe what you will, but the more you read and nit pick at other’s critiques, the better you get at writing your own critique. No, I’m not lying. =___= Every time I see a no-no on another’s query, my brain is filing that away so that I don’t repeat the mistake on my own query.
With that being said, I have noticed a couple of reoccurring problems with queries. Some are pretty obvious and can be found on the blacklist on almost every agent’s blog. Some are not so obvious, and those are the ones that are harder to fix. I have compiled a list of these features in the hopes that it will help those who are attempting to sell their writing dreams in a single page. ^_^
Obvious Query Mistakes to Avoid:
1) Not writing in 3rd person, present tense
Even if your story is in 8th person, future tense, write your query in 3rd person, present tense. Why? Because this is a BUSINESS LETTER.
2) Mention previous rejections
Please don’t mention whether another agent/editor/publisher/pet has passed on your book, even if they rejected you with positive comments. The logical mindset for any agent who reads that is “Well, others in the publishing business think your story is no good, why would I be interested in it?” and if you mention the positive comments, the next reasonable thing that goes through an agent’s mind is “If it was so good, why didn’t they offer representation?” Neither of these thoughts are things you want going through the agent’s mind.
3) Brag your paper has been professionally edited
To you, this sounds like it ought to strengthen your query. It doesn’t. It kicks your query from the slush pile to the trash. Agents need to know that YOU can edit. And trust me, if you can’t edit, you can’t consider yourself a writer.
4) Cite specialized personalizations instead of generalities
Agent Query, Writer’s Market, Jeff Herman’s Book of Literary Agents ARE NOT personalizations. These resources contain just about every name in the industry and do not show the agent you picked them to query for a specific reason. Agent blogs, interviews, conference appearances ARE personalizations.
5) Grandiose comparisons
This refers to comparing your book to anything that is a New York Times bestseller that has been made into a blockbuster movie. This also refers to comparing your book to more than 2 others. It is important you know what niche your book will fit in, and citing numerous comparisons makes it look like you don’t know what your book is about. Pick one or two books that did
6) Too specific word counts
At the very least, round to the nearest 5,000, not hundred, not ten.
7) Title blends into rest of letter
Bold it, italicize it,
8 ) Be UNprofessional
Once again, THIS IS A BUSINESS LETTER! Do not address the agent as Hey Man! Wassup? Dude! Yo Home Skillet Biscuit! What’s Crackalacking Dawg? Please use proper punctuation and spelling. Don’t type like u r txtng
9) Lie
This one should be pretty obvious… but then again, people are still messing up here. Don’t claim you’ve met the agent before when you haven’t. Don’t claim an agent’s client referred you when they didn’t. Don’t claim to be a published author when you’re not. Basically…
10) Misspelling the agent’s name
It literally takes less than 30 seconds to double check that the name is spelled right. You’ve taken years to write your manuscript. Don’t let 30 seconds screw you over. Also, please double check gender. I know I would be pissed off if anyone ever called me Mr. and you do not want an agent to read your query pissed off. For female agents, when in doubt as to whether she is married or not, use Ms.
11) Describe the other books you’re working on
Pitch only one project at a time. Yes, you may have ten other ready novels sitting under your bed, but in this query letter, you are only selling one title. 1 letter = 1 book. It’s simple math. Don’t say anything about any other WIP you have at all! You don’t want to sound wishy washy.
12) Demand you book has to be a series
If you are planning a series, mention that your story can be evolved into a series. But until the first book actually sells well, you shouldn’t count on publishers investing money in you for a second book. By stating your book has to be a series, you are showing that your book cannot stand alone (which is bad!) and that you have delusions of grandeur (which is bad!).
13) Sound desperate.
Have some dignity. Don’t beg, plead, whine, cry, bribe, extort, blackmail (pulls out thesaurus). It’s similar to having children. If you love your book, have faith in it and trust it to win the hearts of others.
14) Profess your undying love of writing
We know you love writing. Everyone who sat down long enough to finish a whole book loves writing. By doing this, you have only managed to add to your level of psychopathic creepiness which will only turn the agent away.
15) Forgetting your contact information (bottom of equery, top of snail mail query)
Good Lord, the publishing business is hard enough to break into as it is. Why on earth would you shoot yourself down by forgetting this? It takes less than the 30 seconds needed to look up an agent’s name (because hopefully, you know where you live and what your phone number is off the top of your head).
Well, this ended up being longer than I predicted so I will post the Not So Obvious Query Mistakes in a separate post. Hope this helps everyone with their query efforts! ^_~
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